I was eager to help. Now ghosts visit at night, memories haunt me. I’d like to go back. Ghosts come and visit because I am still committed to helping. They don’t want me to go back. It is a conflict upon values. Let me share what I’ve learnt. Experiencing obsessions and compulsions does not have primarily to do with washing or checking, nor with control or certainty, rather with values, acceptance, freedom. I wanna go back. Let me go back. It was November, it was cold, and the snow outside just claimed another victim. Berlin’s Winter can be harsh, especially if you have got no roof over your head. Until that very day, I had felt extremely helpless before homeless people. My friend had found an open-air soup kitchen and gently nudged me to give it a try, together. Under Berlin’s grey sky, there they were. Hundreds of hungry, miserable existences were there, queueing to have some food, perhaps some clothes, and most importantly, a dialogue with another human being. Indeed, any kind of in...
A philosophical inquiry on OCD